JOURNAL ENTRY: Wednesday 20 April 2016

I’m starting to question whether or not I am in fact, completely insane. Which can only be a good thing, as I believe the actual insane believe that they are in fact quite, ‘normal’.

Either I am a raving co-dependent, who is making himself ill so that I can see the world, once again, through the eyes of an ill person, with the intention of then getting better so that I can help other people get better, which sounds both crazy and rhetorically nonsensical.

Alternatively, I have been shown my path, which is ultimately that of a healer, and I must once again walk alone into darkness, so that I can observe how I turn the light on, so that I can then teach this to others who are lost and wondering in darkness.

It just reoccurred to me earlier today that I AM the one manifesting my own reality, so with that knowledge, why am I choosing to deliberately create pain and suffering in my life? Surely it would make more sense to manifest calm, peace, love and kindness?

However, that said, there is still plenty of pain and suffering going on in the world and as long as I don’t become self indulgent in my own pain and suffering, and thus become part of the problem, then I must remember that I am doing this, ultimately, for a higher purpose and a greater good. I am ready to sacrifice myself for the needs of life as I know and understand life.

It is my understanding that the ability to self sacrifice is indeed the most humbling acts there is. To give without any thought of reward, simply because it is the right thing to do, is how I believe morality should be judged.

All this bullshit about being a ‘good person’ is essentially meaningless, unless you are willing to pay the ultimate price, as Christ did. If people had that sense of compassion at the core of their morality, the world would be a calm, peaceful and safe place for all life to co-exist. This is what I believe to be the core message inside spiritual oneness.

If I am you and you are me, why would I choose to harm myself? The answer to that question lies in the fact that people are so caught up within their own pain and suffering, that they themselves are manifesting, that they cannot see beyond their own past. They choose to inflect their suffering on others, rather than see the truth, which can only be found through the eyes to true consciousness.

We all share consciousness and in that sense, there is only one consciousness. This is spiritual oneness and as far as my experience goes, I can validate that this is how it is. I have experienced it for myself, thus I know it is true. I can’t ask you to believe me, because this would make it an untruth for you, but if you persist on the path of enlightenment, the true will make you free.

I went to the coffee shop after breakfast, so that I could do some more work on my SAA Step 1.

Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other.

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