JOURNAL ENTRY: Friday 15 April 2016

A good choice is its own reward.

At what point do I become powerless over my thoughts, feelings and behaviours?

To live an honest life, is to be free but when I lie to myself, I’m in trouble, so am I lying to myself right now when I say that I have just acted out or am I living freely?

I’m not really sure what to say, as I am aware that as an addict, I have, in the past, had a tendency to make excuses for my behaviour, but I don’t feel like I need to do that. I may be aware of my true self and the spiritual nature of that true self, but I am also human. I’m still learning to deal with that fact.

So was this a good choice? How will I know unless I test myself? The answer to that is, I won’t. The only way I can know something is to experience it for myself. The more I can witness a thing with absolute consciousness, the more knowledge I can gain from the experience.

I guess I just watch this (head)space.

 

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