About a year ago I revealed my deepest, darkest secret to my therapist. I had sworn I would never reveal this secret to another human being for as long as I lived.
It was hard work and it was emotional.
My therapist has advised me to be clear on my reasons for sharing, which was sound advice. I had faith that sharing this information would in fact make certain situations and relationships much clearer. I told her. My faith was rewarded.
There is no shame in honesty, only dishonesty.
All my LIFE experience has taught me one thing. If I suppress, deny, lie, ignore etc. my reality, I am creating an imbalance between my spirit, my mind and my body, which will ultimately manifest itself as illness and/or death. Everything that I have been told, everything I have witnessed and everything that I have experienced has taught me that truth and honesty are the foundation and cornerstone of trust and without trust we are ultimately alone, even when we are with company. If we cannot bear our immortal soul to others, then what’s the point of living?
The enlightened truth is that we are all one singular consciousness, be not many people are aware of the fact that every living things shares this uniqueness. It is the very truth of our existence. Adam has no purpose without Eve. We cannot define ourselves if we have no one else to help us to see ourselves as we really are. We all have a blind stop, this is why we do not have eyes in the back of our heads. We need others to reflect back our nature in order to give our human lives meaning.
It is this understanding and this pursuit for truth that lead me to my enlightenment. The truth literally set me free.
I once judged myself and I was found wanting.
I took it upon myself to better myself. I began a process of recovery from ignorance and denial to enlightenment. I was rewarded exactly one year after I made my intention clear to the universe.
Today I exist without judgement. My healing process is complete.
My advice to anyone reading this who is suffering from depression or addiction or any other form of mental illness, is to share your truths. Have faith in people, but most importantly of all, have faith in yourself. If people do not understand, be patient, but do not give up. There is still a huge misunderstanding surrounding mental health.
The advice I hear time and again is to surround yourself with kind, loving and compassionate people. If the ones you want to understand you, do not understand you, then when you are ready, you will educate them, but you must first have an inner strength and an inner conviction to educate yourself.
It’s perfectly ‘normal’ for people to spend huge amounts of time considering whether or not to kill themselves, this is the curse of depressive illness, but that doesn’t mean it has to be this way. This is not an acceptable view of ‘normal’ in my humble opinion.
I hand on hart say for the record that I hold no grudges or resentment towards anyone and I wholeheartedly apologise to anyone who, as yet, has been offended by my ‘weirdness’, but in all honesty, that’s your problem, not mine. You’ll get it one day, when you are able to open your mind sufficiently and see the world as I see the world.
My slate is clean and I AM once again at peace with the universe.
I want to continue being crazy; living my life the way I dream it, and not the way the other people want it to be.
- Paulo Coelho