JOURNAL ENTRY: Wednesday 15 July 2015

I have had an absolutely amazing day!

There is one thing that I want to share with mindfulness for addicts still suffering from addiction. This is my share from this evenings SAA meeting. Today was a step reading and today it was Step 7:

  • Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

It’s a bit difficult to ignore sport at the moment, what with Wimbledon, the British Grand Prix and the Tour de France.  Watching these incredible athletes got me thinking. Is the reason the likes of Roger Federer, Serena Williams and Lewis Hamilton are so good at what they do because they are perfect or they think they are perfect? No, it’s quite the opposite. They are all extremely humble and the fact that they have this in common can’t be a coincidence? That’s because it isn’t.

They all except that they are not perfect, but they also accept that to make progress, they must put in a lot of practice. They also acknowledge that sometimes practice can take a lot of patience.

I hear about people being patient in recovery, but straight after I hear how they are still struggling. I think this is because they are missing the ‘practice’ bit.

It is not enough to simply be patient and wait for God to remove our shortcoming. Bollox to that. I was waiting for years and I would have been waiting a whole lot longer if I didn’t chose to do something about it.

All I did was took my character defects and turned them into assets of character.

Yes I am an addict.

Being an addict in of itself is not a bad thing. Bad things tended to happen when I focused my attention on my addictive thoughts, feelings and behaviours relating to things like sex or alcohol etc.

That made me realise, what if I begin to use my addict to help me get better, rather than remaining ill? It’s still me at the end of the day. What have I got to lose?

As it turns out, nothing. I now channel my addict into working (practising) the program so that I can make progress to achieve my goal, which is:

to be the best possible version of myself

I no longer need to be perfect or achieve perfection. I just need to keep making progress and by doing so, I will, sometimes slowly and sometime quickly, get ever closer to my goal. When it happens quickly I am grateful. When it happens slowly I am patient.

I will always be an addict. I accept that, but what I wouldn’t accept was that I will always be a sex addict or an alcoholic etc. I have a choice as to where and how I focus my attention. I am no longer chose to focus on addicts and thus I am no longer addicted to anything. It wasn’t easy, but it is simple and if I can do it then you can do it too. Remember,

keep coming back, it works if you work it so work it you’re worth it.

I will never stop working the program because Step 12 says:

  • Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.

I highlight PRACTICE because even when we’re done working the steps, we’re not done. We only think we are done.

Progress not, perfection and progress takes practice and practice sometimes takes a little patience.

Think about it. You’ve spent enough time practising your addictions, just shift the focus onto your recovery and channel that energy into growing yourself rather than punishing yourself.

I’ll leave it there. It’s good to be here. Thanks.

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