10 Replies to “3 Days, 3 Quotes Challenge : Day 2”

  1. Hi, I love this quote and your analysis sums up, perfectly, the kind of behavior addiction and mental illness often force. I think that confronting this reality certainly would help in the path to/of recovery, but do you think that in all cases, avoiding things like alcohol and drugs works – in that, sometimes life without these things is so pointless and unhappy, that staying on them seems like the best option. Or is that all part of the illusion?

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    1. First off, let me just say that I love you.

      Because I know that you’re consciousness is just the same as my consciousness, I know we are the same. It is only our thoughts, bodies and actions that make us different. Once you work this out you no longer need drugs or alcohol or any kind of distractions to keep your mind from feeling alone and isolated in the universe. Once you are present and aware that your present and conscious-self is the real you, you wake up. When this happens you will ask yourself, Why would I ever want to do anything that stops me feeling this way? Personally, I’ve never felt this good when I was taking drugs, getting drunk, acting out etc. or just day dreaming my life away.

      Life is the best drug of all because you never feel like you need more but it just keeps coming in abundance!

      You are not alone, you just think you are alone. When you know the difference you will love and accept yourself without doubt or reservation and you will know peace.

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      1. Thank you; reading your post I did certainly strong similarities in our minds and behavior. I hope that I can get to the place you’re at one day! Your posts have been incredibly inspiring for me to read, and in the future I hope I’ll be able to look back and say that reading this played the key part in me getting myself together again.


      2. Hey 🙂 Don’t be too hard on yourself. I used to drink and smoke and do all kinds of stupid stuff in acts of self loathing, shame and guilt in order to punish myself. Why? I’m not even sure to be honest. It was probably mostly due to fear.

        My mind freaked me out and I was scared all the time. I never told anyone though. That would make me sound crazy, right?

        The thought that I could create my own nightmares scared the crap out of me, so what did I end up doing… creating and living my own nightmares. I wasn’t running from myself, I was running from my mind because I simply didn’t know myself. After going to several 12 step fellowships, eating properly, drinking plenty of water, resting when I felt tired and meditating as often as a could manage, it eventually clicked. There is a difference between the me that thinks and the me that is aware that I think. Once I understood that I was no longer my thoughts and that I am just my conscious-self in a body that has thoughts and feelings I felt connected to myself. The rest I’ve worked out for myself because I know who I am. I know what I need and I know what I want.

        I find it interesting that you say “getting myself together again”. For me, the answer was noticing the separation or the GAP between my conscious-self and who I allowed myself to think I am. Since pulling myself apart, so to speak, I’ve never felt so whole.

        My advice and it’s free so why not, don’t try to hard. Just do the mindfulness stuff and let your conscious-self rise to the surface. I highly recommend http://www.HeadSpace.com as Andy has a lovely calming voice and explains things very, very well. You get the first 10 days for free and you can do them over 90 days if you can’t cope with back to back days meditating. When you find the GAP you’ll understand that you’re no longer the labels that you may have used to describe yourself such as; an addict; a looser; a worthless piece of poop. I used to call myself all sorts of nasty things. Now I accept I am none of those things. I accept myself in this moment.

        Here’s a couple of things to be mindful of:
        – Concepts – Concepts don’t really exist, they are created by humans. For example; money, time, distance etc. Have you ever been to the past for instance? Me neither, the only time I’m ever present is in this moment. Think about that for a while.
        – Perception and interpretation – We all see the same things but our minds perceive and interpret them differently. The one thing we all have in common is our consciousness, which is our awareness of our own perception and interpretation. It is this conscious-self that is exactly the same in all of us.

        You are no different from anyone else and you are not alone. It is only your thoughts, feeling and actions that make you the unique individual you are.

        Make sure you thank yourself for getting in touch with me today, just as I thank you for getting in touch with me. You did something for yourself and made a connection with me 🙂 and for that I will always love and accept you for who you are. Peace be with you.

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      3. Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this up :)! I’m certainly in the same boat in the not telling anybody how you feel part, and I honestly struggle to imagine ever explicitly talking about this to any family or friends!
        The stuff about nightmares is so true, and I guess that this point in my life, I am at a stage where I feel as if people end up accepting me when I couldn’t get any worse, then I’ll be happy, and I guess I just keep pushing that boundary further and further, and at some point (if I try to look at things objectively), I’ll push everyone away. I know the logical me doesn’t want that to happen, but then there’s also a part of me that thinks that’s what’s best for me; I’m better when I’m alone anyway – that kind of feeling; that sounds kind of crazy!? I think that meditation could definitely help, and it’s something I’ve been thinking of taking up for a while now, so maybe now’s the best time!
        I really like your comment on ‘concepts’, and hadn’t overly considered that perspective before, so thank you! But there is still a part of me that thinks even if humans didn’t coin the terms and analyse them, etc. that they would still exist, perhaps just in a slightly different form – I’ll certainly enjoy thinking about this some more and in much more detail in the future :)!
        And thank you for your replies; you have no idea how much they’ve helped in terms of me being able to look at things in a way I haven’t allowed myself to before. I am so grateful that I got in touch with you – I love you too; you have helped me realize such a lot in such a short space of time, and for that, I am so grateful (I haven’t had a drink or any drugs all day, which is remarkable for me)!

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      4. It’s my pleasure. The old me would say ‘I feel your pain’, but now, as a recovering co-dependent I must remember to say something like ‘I understand your pain’. I wish I could give you all the answers, but if you’re anything like me, you know all the answers already but none of them really make any sense at the moment, right?

        When people use to say things like ‘I don’t trust myself’ I used to think they were crazy. I always use to blame my alcohol addiction on my feet. They just wouldn’t stay out of the off license. Did that mean I couldn’t trust my feet? I didn’t trust myself and I would constantly lie to and deceive myself. The real problem was, I never knew what trust really was. How was I supposed to trust myself if I didn’t know what it was. It’s the same as when people say ‘you just need to love yourself’. OK. But I’m currently emotionally retarded, how do I do that? What is that?

        All I can say is don’t over complicate things. If your mind is anything like mine, it likes to get lost in itself. Keep things simple. My daily routine is simple. I wake up with the single intention for this day: [To find peace.] If this happens within 2 seconds then I’m winning. If it takes me until 23:59 then I’m still winning.

        I have 4 things that I try and do everyday, preferably within a hour of waking, but I allow myself to be flexible. After all, no one likes doing chores. So I:
        – Shower – This guarantees I’m awake sooner rather than later
        – Eat breakfast within an hour of waking (always! your blood sugar levels are really important to maintain when stabilising your mood)
        – Do my readings from Answers in the Heart for SAA and Daily Reflections for AA. This prepares me for my meditation.
        – Meditate for 10-20 minutes using http://www.headspace.com (Andy is my saviour, you really must give yourself the chance to get to know him. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed)
        Since doing these four things on a more often than not basis, my life has started to improve.

        If you want to change then you will change. I decided at some point that I didn’t need to be perfect any more, that was too much pressure. I just wanted to be the best possible version of myself. It sounds like today you have been the best possible version of yourself. Well done. Positivity is accumulative, so take todays successes over into tomorrow and do the simplest thing in the world. Just accept yourself and embrace your imperfections. They make you who you are and at some point in the not too distant future you will realise why you have been going through all this stuff.

        Keep in touch and peace be with you my friend.

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    1. Are you aware of co-dependency? Go to http://www.coda-uk.org/ I would highly recommend that you find a meeting and go and listen and share your experiences with others. When you realise that it’s not actually you that is ill, it’s just your ‘mind’, you can begin to accept your mind and learn to tame it.

      Also, do you meditate? If you don’t then you are not really helping yourself. You only need to give yourself 10 minutes of head space a day in order to find the real you and when you do you will find peace and your illness will no longer control you. http://www.headspace.com the first 10 days are free, so you have no excuses! No time like the present. If you can’t find the strength to do it it every day or even to do it sitting up, then do it lying down in bed to begin with. Meditation won’t ‘fix’ you but if you listen closely and pay attention to what Andy says and more importantly, doesn’t say, you will have all the tools you need in order to fix yourself. Have a little H.O.P.E (Hold On Pain Ends)

      Keep and open mind and come back and share your experiences. I never get tired of talking about life, it’s the only thing that really matters 🙂

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