I’m not telling you any of this stuff to make me feel better. Yes I am a co-dependent, but I am aware enough of what that is that I can clearly identify my motivation for sending you this email. You are my friend. You are going through something very similar to what I have suffered from for many years. I have found the answer to my own ‘problems’ and by sharing my experience and wisdom with you I hope that you too will find the peace of mind that I now have.
The easiest explanation I can think of for the root cause of depression, addiction, co-dependency, mental illness etc. etc. etc. is
“Neo, sooner or later you’re going to realise just as I did that there’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.” – Morpheus
- The Matrix – This represent your ‘mind’
- The Real World – This represents your consciousness or your ‘conscious-self’
Now do you want to take the Red Pill or the Blue Pill?
Delete this email and have a nice life 🙂
At the moment you believe that ‘you’ are your ‘mind’. That’s all the mind does. It makes stuff up for us, it recalls stuff for us and it works stuff out for us. It can be a wonderful servant or it can be a very dangerous master. At the moment, your mind is your master. You live in The Matrix. The Matrix is your reality. I’m living in the Real World, no offence. I still enter The Matrix all the time, but because I know it is The Matrix I am no longer affected by the rules of The Matrix. “There is no spoon” and all that. I’m not saying I can bend spoons, I’m saying that I can bend the spoon in my mind, because that’s all it is, my mind.
Let me explain… When we meditate, what we are actually trying to practice is the increase in our awareness of our consciousness or conscious-self. We achieve this by focusing our conscious-self on our breathing for example. Every time our ‘mind’ wonders off and we start thinking about our thoughts rather than on maintaining our attention and awareness on our breath, we simply bring our awareness back to the breath. The thing that pulls our attention back to focus on our breath is YOU, your conscious-self. The thing that wonders off all the time and distracts you is your mind. There’s a difference. Once you see this difference you have taken the Red Pill and you will start to attain clarity.
Meditation is NOT trying to alter our mood or fill our mind with blank thoughts. People think sitting quietly and thinking about stuff is meditation. IT IS NOT. If you don’t get why you’re meditating then we need to practice together and I’ll do my best to show you or go to www.headspace.com and get started right now. Let me guess, you don’t want to get well because… yeah yeah yeah, remember your mind is ill and you are deluded. Just Do It!
I can’t make you swallow the red pill, I can just tell you that when you do, you will realise that problems are really complicated and solutions are simple. Life will become an absolute joy and you may find that you laugh uncontrollably and cry at the same time. Don’t worry if you don’t. You will at some point, trust me on this.
Your email below has described to me your own psychosis. You think you are intelligent. AKA You let your mind tell you that you are intelligent and you are better than everyone else. What if I told you that the greatest form of intelligence is simply awareness. When you become aware of the difference between your mind and your conscious-self, you will no longer feel egotistical feelings like pride over your so called intellect. You will simply ‘be’ and you will find loving yourself comes without even having to try. You will no longer be in denial and you will no longer be deluded. You have a very intelligent mind I’m sure, you’re just not aware that this intelligence is not you. Your mind has tricked you into thinking this is. Your intelligence is simply a tool at your disposal and is part of the organ we call the brain and the concept that we call the mind.
Once you achieve this new self-awareness, and it may take time, I’ve been meditating for years and only just got it (and if I’m not making any sense at all in this email then I can explain all this stuff in a another way). Once you achieve this new self-awareness you will find that the practice of meditation increases ‘the gap’ between the conscious-self and the ‘evil mind’. With practice, as I’m finding, you start to create a clear distinction between the two. You realise that your mind has improper thoughts, that you have feelings and do certain actions. These feelings, thoughts and actions are not you. The real you is simply the thing that is now aware that you are witnessing these thing. It’s so simple, but the mind can be devious and cunning and really sick if you let it. It will continue to trick you into thinking it’s real until you decide to take the Red Pill.
Only you can walk the path, so ask yourself, do you really want to be Mr Anderson for the rest of your life or would you rather be Neo?
’m currently reading a book recommended to me by someone in my SAA and Co-DA fellowships:
Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives
by Pia Mellody et al.
Very… very, insightful.