I was just on may way back from my first Co-DA meeting this morning when I had an overwhelming urge to pull over and ring a few people. No sooner had a parked the car, than my phone began to ring. I hadn’t even turned the engine off at this point. It was James, who was the first person I was going to call. If that’s not higher power in action then I don’t know what is.
We spoke like old friends, even though I’ve never really had a conversation with him before. One of the things that he said to me was something along the lines of, ‘not understanding how people can do many of the things that we addicts do, but they don’t suffer the consequences like we do’. This got me thinking. Sure, a lot of people drink and just about all of us have sex. Some of us gamble, we all eat, some of us too much, some of us take drugs. ETC.
So how come not everyone’s life becomes unmanageable? Or does it… eventually?
The mid life crisis is a widely accepted occurrence for a lot of people. So is the phrase that ‘life begins at 40’. It’s almost like we reach a point in our lives where we realise that our lives, have in fact, become unmanageable. Whether it’s our career, marriage, relationships or our simple desire to fulfil our lives with more meaningful hobbies, most people collapse inwardly or outwardly at some point in their lives.
Take step 1 from Alcoholics Anonymous:
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
In SAA, NA, GA, Co-DA etc. we simply change ‘alcohol’ for our word or phrase that best describes our own specific illness.
What if we taught the 12 steps to everyone, everyday, at school and at work?
What if we took 1 hour out of each day to participate in a truly democratic process of honesty and sharing about LIFE. Try this on for size and think what a difference this might have made to your life, if you were made more aware of it in your early years, rather than being told to believe in a God, or the belief that you need money to survive etc. Yes I’m talking about utopia, but isn’t that the point of the tendency towards complexity?
We admitted we were powerless over our mind and our thoughts – that our lives had become unmanageable.
Let me explain:
I am not my mind.
I can use my mind but I am the awareness and conscious-self that witnesses my mind and my thoughts.
If I had learnt about this amazing difference earlier on in my life, I would never have been alone. I would never have been afraid. I would never have tried to hide from myself. I would never have hated myself. I would never have wasted my life regretting the past or fantasising about the future. I would not have distracted my mind with addictions.
The only ‘real’ thing, in my honest opinion, is AWARENESS, everything else is either a construct of interpretation or perception that is filtered through the mind. I am not my mind.
If this isn’t making any sense then just stop for a minute and think about who is actually reading the text on this screen?
Now realise that that conscious-self has suddenly disappeared as you start to think about that statement in a logical way.
That’s the difference. One is a thought and one is the awareness of the thought. It’s very subtle, but the two things are completely separate and very different.
We rate intelligence as the highest form of being amongst our species. I disagree. Awareness of the conscious-self and it’s separateness from the mind is, IMHO, the highest form of being. My mind can lie, become confused, trick me. My conscious-self cannot as it is always just present in this moment, never judging, just witnessing.
If you practice meditation for just 10 minutes a day, you start to grow ‘the gap’ between your conscious-self and your mind. You will find that heaven is in fact a place on earth and that you have been living in your own version of mental hell.
- Heaven is simply living life through the eyes of the conscious self.
- Hell is living life though the eyes of the mind and being unaware of the difference between mind and consciousness.
Peace of mind is true freedom because we can then recognise the difference between our egoistic thoughts and our true conscious-self.
Hell is a state of mind. Heaven is a state of being. You can’t be in two different places at the same time.
Peace be with you all.